As with every stage, every phase, every section, every moment - there comes an end.
And this note marks the end of a stage, a phase, a section, a moment of my life.
I stopped blogging last November 2008, and even then, my last 2-3 posts were all quoted passages of my previous entries. Everyone knows why I stopped blogging, and I'm sure everyone who knew me personally (beyond the blog posts and the stories that have gone around) understood that what happened in those last months of 2008 were too painful to be shared to the world.
Everyone who knew me personally - and by now, I know that the list of people who do can be counted on the digits of my two hands and two feet - knew that I chose to stay silent to avoid fanning the flames, to let rumor run its course, to weed out the true friends from the acquaintances and the pretenders.
By and large it worked: the flames eventually died down (except for some persistent hotspots - but I suppose like any wild fire, there are just some kinds of wood that really insist on burning for no reason), the rumors were forgotten (and were replaced by the next hottest thing on the rumor mill), and the pretenders were indeed weeded out, leaving only trusted and true friends.
Some people - yes, even some of my closest friends - disagreed with my chosen course of action. They advocated the opening of communication lines - some wanted to ensure we had closure, others wanted the rumors and wildly inaccurate stories to be clarified by the source of it. Oh yes, there were long YM conversations and email threads about topics such as these.
But at the end of the day, they respected what I chose. It wasn't easy for a lot of them - some wanted to take extreme action on their end. But no matter how much they itched to take some action, they heeded my call and chose to stay silent.
I stuck to the principle that if you were a decent, level-headed person, you would get both sides of any story before making any judgments. Now there are quite a number of people - actually, GROUPS of people would be more appropriate - seem to have been swayed by the multiple stories, rumors, blog posts, and text messages about what has happened between myself and my ex-girlfriend. Based on these information, they have apparently concluded that I'm a (insert your choice of curse words here).
Powerful language - I would be lying if I said that I wasn't bothered by the different people who went out of their way to let me know what they felt about me.
I was also encouraged by other people who, after hearing multiple conflicting stories, called me up or met up with me and took the time out to get my side of the story. I salute them for taking the time out to do so - now, as to what they thought about the entire thing...well, you'll have to ask them that. It's not my story to tell. All I can say is that as I did, they chose to stay silent after that.
At the end of the day, the truth and what you learn from it is the most important part of it all. No, not the WAY the truth is said - that will always be biased. No, not to WHOM the truth was told - the one told will always have his/her own judgment about it. No, not HOW the truth was learned - the method by which the truth was learned will always have its own little story to share.
So what's the full truth to the entire story? No one will probably ever fully know. Sure, my ex knows her side of the story. I definitely have my side of the story. Other people may have their own bits and pieces that, when all added up, contributes a significant chunk to the truth of the entire story. Maybe someone would be interested in getting everyone's side and putting it all together in one cohesive story and let everyone else read it.
But that someone's not me. I've learned the truth and the lessons about myself, about my life, about my family and friends, and about relationships. Knowing every little detail, every little nuance and conversation, every logical reasoning and illogical justification, every little white lie and cardinal sin isn't going to change the truth and what I've learned.
And so I close off this blog with this post. It's been a lot of fun writing through it. To the (few) followers of my blog - thank you for keeping me company all these years. I had loads of fun.
---
As with every end of a stage, phase, section, and moment - there comes a new stage, phase, section, and moment. And the next part of my life begins at another blog.
This blog of mine will always be around. I toyed with the idea of deleting it - but that way lies denial, forgetfulness, and repression, for the lessons that I learned might be forgotten. I also toyed with the idea of incorporating it into my new blog - but that way lies the pain that comes from refusing to let go.
So this little place of mine will always be around - feel free to browse the previous entries, leave comments, and what-have-you. I wrote this blog with all the seriousness and playfulness that a 20-something geek has in his life, so if you derive any enjoyment from it, I'm glad I was able to put a little smile on your face.
I move on to another blog. If you can figure out what 7:21am is of January 1, 2009 - you can figure out where my new blog is.
Of course, you can also shoot me an email at "721amahpd at gmail dot com" if you really can't figure it out. :) There, that's another clue.
Till we meet again!
Chad
And this note marks the end of a stage, a phase, a section, a moment of my life.
I stopped blogging last November 2008, and even then, my last 2-3 posts were all quoted passages of my previous entries. Everyone knows why I stopped blogging, and I'm sure everyone who knew me personally (beyond the blog posts and the stories that have gone around) understood that what happened in those last months of 2008 were too painful to be shared to the world.
Everyone who knew me personally - and by now, I know that the list of people who do can be counted on the digits of my two hands and two feet - knew that I chose to stay silent to avoid fanning the flames, to let rumor run its course, to weed out the true friends from the acquaintances and the pretenders.
By and large it worked: the flames eventually died down (except for some persistent hotspots - but I suppose like any wild fire, there are just some kinds of wood that really insist on burning for no reason), the rumors were forgotten (and were replaced by the next hottest thing on the rumor mill), and the pretenders were indeed weeded out, leaving only trusted and true friends.
Some people - yes, even some of my closest friends - disagreed with my chosen course of action. They advocated the opening of communication lines - some wanted to ensure we had closure, others wanted the rumors and wildly inaccurate stories to be clarified by the source of it. Oh yes, there were long YM conversations and email threads about topics such as these.
But at the end of the day, they respected what I chose. It wasn't easy for a lot of them - some wanted to take extreme action on their end. But no matter how much they itched to take some action, they heeded my call and chose to stay silent.
I stuck to the principle that if you were a decent, level-headed person, you would get both sides of any story before making any judgments. Now there are quite a number of people - actually, GROUPS of people would be more appropriate - seem to have been swayed by the multiple stories, rumors, blog posts, and text messages about what has happened between myself and my ex-girlfriend. Based on these information, they have apparently concluded that I'm a (insert your choice of curse words here).
Powerful language - I would be lying if I said that I wasn't bothered by the different people who went out of their way to let me know what they felt about me.
I was also encouraged by other people who, after hearing multiple conflicting stories, called me up or met up with me and took the time out to get my side of the story. I salute them for taking the time out to do so - now, as to what they thought about the entire thing...well, you'll have to ask them that. It's not my story to tell. All I can say is that as I did, they chose to stay silent after that.
At the end of the day, the truth and what you learn from it is the most important part of it all. No, not the WAY the truth is said - that will always be biased. No, not to WHOM the truth was told - the one told will always have his/her own judgment about it. No, not HOW the truth was learned - the method by which the truth was learned will always have its own little story to share.
So what's the full truth to the entire story? No one will probably ever fully know. Sure, my ex knows her side of the story. I definitely have my side of the story. Other people may have their own bits and pieces that, when all added up, contributes a significant chunk to the truth of the entire story. Maybe someone would be interested in getting everyone's side and putting it all together in one cohesive story and let everyone else read it.
But that someone's not me. I've learned the truth and the lessons about myself, about my life, about my family and friends, and about relationships. Knowing every little detail, every little nuance and conversation, every logical reasoning and illogical justification, every little white lie and cardinal sin isn't going to change the truth and what I've learned.
And so I close off this blog with this post. It's been a lot of fun writing through it. To the (few) followers of my blog - thank you for keeping me company all these years. I had loads of fun.
---
As with every end of a stage, phase, section, and moment - there comes a new stage, phase, section, and moment. And the next part of my life begins at another blog.
This blog of mine will always be around. I toyed with the idea of deleting it - but that way lies denial, forgetfulness, and repression, for the lessons that I learned might be forgotten. I also toyed with the idea of incorporating it into my new blog - but that way lies the pain that comes from refusing to let go.
So this little place of mine will always be around - feel free to browse the previous entries, leave comments, and what-have-you. I wrote this blog with all the seriousness and playfulness that a 20-something geek has in his life, so if you derive any enjoyment from it, I'm glad I was able to put a little smile on your face.
I move on to another blog. If you can figure out what 7:21am is of January 1, 2009 - you can figure out where my new blog is.
Of course, you can also shoot me an email at "721amahpd at gmail dot com" if you really can't figure it out. :) There, that's another clue.
Till we meet again!
Chad
